A Mother’s Worth

2013-09-07 19.14.36-3For a moment, let’s picture our earliest beginnings, nestled deep within our mothers warm, dark womb. Her every heartbeat the rhythm of our very existence. Now, fast forward to the outside world where we are held, cuddled, carried, nursed and loved by that same womban,with her same steady heartbeat. Remember when we got bigger and more curious about the world around us. and how Mamas hands held ours, Mamas lap our throne, Mamas kisses dried our tears. If anybody could make us feel better it was Mama and her dear friend Dada. Oh and the food! There was breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, dessert… Wow. Always eating, never missing a meal, always growing. Remember when you started to get good at things and you wanted to show Mom and Dad “Yah! Watch this Mom! Watch how I can balance, climb, draw, sing, paint, run, write!”

Remember getting new shoes because your feet were always growing? Every need provided for without even having to think. Just as Mother Earth is the very foundation for all of Gods children, Mother/woman is the foundation for the little ones we birth and who are left in our care. Now, I can’t help but imagine time, space, reality where the people 2013-09-04 17.25.00-1were in alignment with natural laws. By living with the land our needs were met through foraging, farming, natural waters, good craftsmanship, hard work and ceremony. The different generations of women supported one another with their ability and wisdom. A mother was never alone without choice. Fathers loved and protected their wives and their children and each was the counterpart for the other. Two sets of hands making the work light. In terms of work, or working outside the home mothers have always worked. Within a harmonious environment the children could play, watch and help with the task or talent at hand. Women who farm and work with the land and also craftswomen the world over know this reality. Now where I live in Toronto, one of the worlds largest and diverse cities, such a utopia has passed it’s prime. Mothers work at jobs to eat, to pay phone bills, mortgages, rent, insurance, property tax and Fathers work too. Everything we need is outside of ourselves. Everything we need to survive in the city costs money. Even our children cost money. I’ve met a few couples who have conciously taken an oath to never have children because they are too expensive and time consuming. Those of us with children are sometimes single mothers or working families that require a full or double income just to make ends meet. Where does this leave 2013-08-23 16.54.04-2our babies? Some women choose to be “stay at home moms” with the financial support coming from their partners, families or the government. Some enjoy this and some women can’t stand it. Other families have stay at home Dads while the mother does the earning. This arrangement works well in some families where the man is nurturing and loving and home focused by nature. I have seen and experienced many men who are not pleased with this arrangement, for they are taking up a mothers role while neglecting the unique callings that connect them to their path and identities as men.

Day care is another thriving reality. The majority of our children are raised by day cares, nannies, babysitters, after 4 programs and educational institutions. Recently I experienced a week where I was called to do some work solo which had me out of the house before anybody woke up and back home just in time for dinner and bedtime. Those few hours were precious and short and the children definitely felt my absence. My husband, our parents and my close mother friends filled in the gaps. And the kids seemed blessed yet 2013-06-17 18.42.31-2confused by the whole experience. It raised a lot of questions in me. If I’m not cooking/cleaning and spending time with my three kids, who is and how do they feel about it? To a certain extent, society starts to raise our children and these kids will one day have all the conditioning they need to survive in the city and to pledge allegiance to capital materialism. It’s just the way it is. We need to feed our children, so we need to work. They will likely follow suit. My mother was a stay at home mom and artist. She took care of us and knit us sweaters and sewed us clothes and painted beautiful pictures. My father painted houses and was a writer. They had time for us. That’s all I remember. They were always there. It makes sense that there is a time for all things and that mothers can get creative in terms of income and that we have every right to put our divine duty as mothers first on our list of ambitions. Why? Becuase our children require love. And they grow very quickly. And they will be our closest allies, our kin, our family for the rest of time. When young, they don’t care about money, or things, or why you must go. They care about togetherness. A friend of mine put it this way “I’ve subtracted some zeros from my paycheque in exchange for some quality time for my people.” It’s an idea to contemplate. Imagine how we may be in charge of the outcomes instead of victims to “the way it is”. Another thought…bringing our children with us to do our called work or working from the homestead, or both. In my case I was blessed to bring my babies to teach yoga with me ages 0-20 months they mostly slept in the sling on my body. Toddler stage was a little bit more perilous but still manageable, and at that point I began primarily teaching from home and in open parks and child friendly spaces. Or I could go teach class while the little ones stayed home with Daddy or my Mom or my sister. They were either with me or 2013-08-14 18.42.53-6with their dearly beloveds. For the most part we roll as a family when we sell our jewellery or crafts, when we perform the children are a part of this. It is a priority for our family to grow solid roots, morals, culture and autonomy within a backwards and corrupt system. We all are ancient. We all have instincts. We all have the means to raise our young in the wild and in the concrete jungle. Choosing wholeness, simplicity, love and intimacy is a valid path. Abundance is our birht right. The Creator will always provide for us mothers and our families. Invest in the future with love.

– Elisha

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